Smalltown, USA
2003-04-19, 11:05 p.m.

My social life has officially plummeted to an all new low. Last night, I visited what can only be described as the white trash bar. Every small town has one and I've managed to avoid this one since I turned 21, but last night I took the leap. And it was frightening.

This is the kind of place that you see from the highway and think, "That couldn't possibly still be open." Ohh, but it is. The roof is literally caving in and there's only one exit so it has to at least be against fire laws. No one knows what the real name of it is supposed to be, so we all just call it Big John's. After the owner who is a big, fat gross man named John. Surprise, surprise.

I really swore I'd never go there, but you'll do weird things for some ass. The ex arrived and said everyone was going to Big John's and why didn't I meet him there. "Uh, how bout no?" was my original reply.

Its really not smart for a girl to enter Big John's alone. Though its not a big place, there's enough scary people there to make the walk from the door to the back of the room seem like miles. So he picked me up, we went and both got drunk to the point where we were making out against the wall, getting particularly close to fucking. Sadly, no one in the place would have probably noticed if we had if we'd been simple white trash, country folk, but being that we are real live, uppity college grads I think we got stared at the whole time.

I had to leave before the voyeurism got to me, but the sex was even better thanks to all the foreplay. Maybe I'm an exhibitionist in disguise.

All I know is today, I'm hungover and sore in places no one needs to know about. Plus, I'm seriously depressed about the fact that I have actually become so bored in Smalltown, USA that I went to Big John's. I don't think any of you can actually comprehend my disappointment in myself until you see this place.

I'll console myself with the fact that the sex was worth it. At least for the next few minutes, til the ex calls again at 11:30 and I can go over to his place and relive how worth it the sex was.

last - next