What Might Have Been
2003-04-22, 9:43 p.m.

"I try not to think about what might have been, cause that was then, and we have taken different roads. We can't go back again, there's no use giving in. And there's no way to know what might have been."

I don't know exactly what I'm about to write, but I can guarantee that if you don't want to hear about medical shit, you might as well go check out disney.com, or some other nice little site. And I refuse to write about the ex going home and how its depressing because I'm pretending that its not.

I am in the ultimate pissed off mood and the problem is that there's not really anyone specific I can be mad at. Can you really be angry with your parents and ancestors for shitty genes? I'm finding that to be hard.

Just found out today that I get to have surgery again. Can I just tell you how thrilled I am? I have a complex cyst on my left ovary. The second one I've had, although the first was on my right. Either way, I seem to be what is called a "cystmaker." That is not the title I used to dream about as a child. The worst thing is that once you start being a "cystmaker," its like your body doesn't want to stop and you could be having surgery every year.

Ok, so that sucks. And then comes the fact that there's the chance of damaging the ovary every time, so it could cramp my style later in life when I actually want to have kids. I'll be one of those lovely people forced to go on fertility drugs and have 8 kids at once. Actually, I don't think anyone has done 8 yet. What is that octuplets? I can tell you what it is. Too many kids at once. But hey, you do get a lot of free stuff.

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