15 hours to go
2003-07-29, 11:03 p.m.

July 30th is almost upon us. In approximately 15 hours, I will know if I can have sex again. I went for 21 years without sex and now 21 days feels like a lifetime of celibacy. How does the pope do it? Oh wait, he doesn't. Sorry that was a really bad pun.

Anyway, the first week and a half I didn't care at all about the no sex thing, now I'm going crazy. My ex was in town last weekend and we used to have great sex. So great that it seems that everytime he comes to town, I want to recreate the memory. Alas, I have a boyfriend now, which is not a bad thing. I just can't cope with having him around and looking sexy if I can't actually jump his bones.

I begged him Saturday night. Yes, I've been reduced to begging. I pleaded. "It's only 3 days too soon, nothing will happen. It'll be fine." He denied me. I think I just whined more, which is when he reminded me that he's a paramedic and if he had to take me to the hospital for something he'd helped to induce, his professional reputation might suffer. Okay, so he won that one.

Enough about sex. It's better if I don't think about it. I just watched what I have now dubbed as the funniest show on TV. If you haven't seen "Queer Eye for a Straight Guy" and you appreciate that over-the-top sense of humor that only gay men possess, watch the show. It is truly a gem. I'd give up Trading Spaces for it. This is a big step in my world. I'm the girl who watches decorating shows and actually writes down all the ideas I like so that one day when I'm an interior designer I can remember them. I don't even know if I want to be an interior designer, but whatever.

My best friend from 3rd-11th grade (small falling out after that over a boy who is now her husband) is about 4 centimeters away from having a baby. I'm in shock. I think it's great and I can't wait to be Auntie Tara, but it seems like we're living on different planets. We're the same age, but the mere thought of having children right now throws me into an anxiety attack and here she is having one. We've taken totally different paths in life, which has never bothered me before, but now I find myself slightly jealous that she's going to have a little bundle of joy. And the hot gynecologist is delivering it. Maybe that's why I'm jealous. It's not really the baby, it's the Vartan lookalike OBGYN.

"Bob Hope represents all the great things about America." In honor of a wonderful man who did more for this country's spirit than any politician. I'm sure there are more people laughing in heaven now that he's there.

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